Yeah. It's ON.

The Sunny Lucas campaign wasted no time spewing vile insults at He Who Lords:

The Sunny Lucas campaign’s response is that Kitteh is clearly a bleeding heart racist/species-ist and the...

Yawn yawn smack smack yawn.

Before we can even begin to examine Sunny Lucas' preposterous political pontifications, we must answer this spurious charge of 'species-ism'.

• Is it numerist to acknowledge that one billion is greater than, say, 42?
• Is it fashionist to assert that silk is superior to polyester? Or maybe textilist?
• Is it pompositist to claim Monet trumps dogs-playing-poker?

To call a feline 'species-ist' is to call the Sun 'helio-centric.' Simple observation yields the obvious conclusion that felines are rightly dominant, followed by humans, and then by also-ran creatures, including canines.

But perhaps your eyes do not see. Perhaps you need a detailed explanation, as does the dim-witted fellow who doesn't get the joke until later.

First, consider direct combat. Has Sunny ever actually tasted cat? (Other than her repulsive ravenous attack on a mere baby?) No, she has not. We have superior vertical agility, cunning and the capacity to become a spaz-ball with the claws on the outside. You just think you want to fuck with us. You're wrong.

Next, consider how felines and canines interact with the opposably-thumbed ones. Much has been made of the low-brow observation that canines have advanced to the point that humans now pick up their excrement. Big deal. Cats have had their crap cleaned up by humans for 3,000 years, beginning in Alexandria. And before that we had the decorum to actually cover our leavings, rather than just make a few scratches while we bark at skateboarders and make fan-shaped... Why do I stoop to this discussion? Where was I?

The bottom line is, cats have dominated humans longer and more thoroughly than canines could ever hope to. With just a bit of finicism over my dinner options, I could have emulsified Ridgeback, lightly seasoned and canned for enjoyment at my leisure.

Naptime...